I Know I Have No Life When...

1. I know where all the Chrome Eggs are in Angry Birds Chrome. 

And how do I know this? I have Angry Birds Chrome installed on several computers for the sole purpose of resetting the game.

2. I blog about the Twelve Steps of Angry Birds.

3. Watching Six Degrees of Separation leads me to think "Chaos, Control, Chaos, Control. You like, You like."

4. I can't even get a decent date on Match.com

Oh wait, I may just be too fat for that. Match.com is the dating meat market for skinny chicks. If that's not the case, there are no guys on that site that like fat chicks, have something above a high school education, and don't look like rednecks.

5. I have the Match.com BlackBerry app.

6. I can tell you my FreeCell stats. My winning rate is 45% at one location, and 52% at another location.

7. My Farmville has more coins than my bank account has cash.

8. I play Sudoku on the crackberry.

9. Anne Burrell taught me how to crush and mince garlic.

10. I wish I could date Guy Fieri. 

Like that will ever happen. His wife would try to kill me. Death by food still happens. I can see the Clue solution: The wannabe-something was killed in the wine cellar by the wife using the steak and arsenic.

11. I watch the Food Network. Bobby Flay is my favorite Iron Chef. 

12. I blog about The Never Ending Story's boobs.

13. Some one in India reads my blog about the boobs.

I'll think of more later....

Freeing the Angry Birds

Much to the relief of Bumblebee, I have not played Angry Birds for over 48 hours. I have a very logical reason as to why...

I can't unlock the Chrome version levels 4-2 through 4-5. I didn't get all the little chrome balls in the Poached Eggs series. I needed those to unlock the Chrome level. I even tried to go back and find all the chrome balls to get them. Once you complete a level, the chrome balls go away.

Since I can't get the chrome things, I'm pretty much done with the game. Bumblebee will be proud of me.

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ANGRY BIRDS

Welcome to Angry Birds Anonymous. In order to break our addiction to flinging birds by the means of slingshots with the sole mission of destroying the pigs and their fortresses, acceptance of the following twelve steps is deemed essential.

1. We admitted we were powerless over the pig king-that our lives had become meaningless without our eggs.

2. Came to believe that a slingshot is a Power greater than pigs and could restore us our eggs.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of birds as we understood the value of the slingshot.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our eggs and birds.

5. Admitted to ourselves, and to other birds the exact nature of the wrongs of pigs.

6. We're entirely ready to have birds remove all defects of character within pigs.

7. Humbly asked birds to remove all pigs by destroying the fortresses of the pig king.

8. Made a list of all pigs we had harmed, and became willing to make prisoners of them all.

9. Made direct capture to such pigs and fortresses wherever and whenever possible.

10. Continued to take personal inventory of our eggs, and when we miscounted,  promptly admitted to the theft of eggs by pigs.

11. Sought through prayer, slingshots, and trajectory paths to improve our conscious contact with pigs, praying the pig fortress will one day be destroyed.

12. Having had the destruction of the pig fortresses successful as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to pigs and all other farm animals, and to practice these flying principles in all our wars against the pig king.



In the end, pigs shall witness the greatest destruction of their fortresses. Never again shall pigs of any race, color or creed make happen the theft of birds's eggs again.

Angry Birds

I declare it official:

I am addicted to Angry Birds!

I have only downloaded this annoyingly addicting game two days ago. As of this moment, I am struggling to get through Theme 2 of Poached eggs. Each round, I find the obligation to destroy the pigs by deploying birds from slingshots. I'm stuck on 2-21.

Since I also have a penchant for CollegeHumor.com, I figured I'd share this:



Giving credit where credit is due; Thank you to collegehumor.com for the embedding code for the video.