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Friday, June 10, 2011

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ANGRY BIRDS

Welcome to Angry Birds Anonymous. In order to break our addiction to flinging birds by the means of slingshots with the sole mission of destroying the pigs and their fortresses, acceptance of the following twelve steps is deemed essential.

1. We admitted we were powerless over the pig king-that our lives had become meaningless without our eggs.

2. Came to believe that a slingshot is a Power greater than pigs and could restore us our eggs.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of birds as we understood the value of the slingshot.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our eggs and birds.

5. Admitted to ourselves, and to other birds the exact nature of the wrongs of pigs.

6. We're entirely ready to have birds remove all defects of character within pigs.

7. Humbly asked birds to remove all pigs by destroying the fortresses of the pig king.

8. Made a list of all pigs we had harmed, and became willing to make prisoners of them all.

9. Made direct capture to such pigs and fortresses wherever and whenever possible.

10. Continued to take personal inventory of our eggs, and when we miscounted,  promptly admitted to the theft of eggs by pigs.

11. Sought through prayer, slingshots, and trajectory paths to improve our conscious contact with pigs, praying the pig fortress will one day be destroyed.

12. Having had the destruction of the pig fortresses successful as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to pigs and all other farm animals, and to practice these flying principles in all our wars against the pig king.




In the end, pigs shall witness the greatest destruction of their fortresses. Never again shall pigs of any race, color or creed make happen the theft of birds's eggs again.

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