Return the child to Sender, Half Asleep

Earlier today, I asked Bigboy to take something out for dinner. His protein source of choice: chicken and bacon. The Plan A: fry up the bacon as bacon bits, stuff them into the chicken with cheese, bread everything and bake it. By the time I needed to start dinner, neither chicken nor bacon was thawed enough to bother. Plan B: run to town for pizza. Bigfoot won't mind pizza in the least bit. Coming home from four days of mischief and mayhem with 1000 other boys generates a bottomless need for pizza.

As I'm checking out of the grocery store, what should I encounter, but a ringing phone. Bigfoot has come home. According to Mom Mouse and Dad Jordan, he was awake until Gig Harbor, and asleep by Olalla. As the rented SUV came into Port Orchard, several countless attempts were made to wake him up before he got home.

His exhaustion is out of my hands. Powerless I am to aid him in his need for sleep. He was only surrounded by 1000 other boys from around Washington State. Testosterone went flying all around the Wenatchee Convention Center for four straight days.

Coming to you, from my reliable source Bigfoot, I have been told the 1.5K run was held at 1am Saturday. Yes, several hundred boys ran laps around the convention center in the middle of the morning. Can you say testosterone? I was also told four boys were riding the elevator up and down for the sheer pleasure of riding an elevator. Generation of this pleasure resulted in two boys pushing each other into the elevator alarm. Once this alarm was set off, and appropriately turned off, four boys went running from said elevator, one of whom ended up in a girls bathroom out of extreme requirement to pee.

Sleep was temporarily obtained over the weekend. Certain activities provided perfect opportunities for nodding heads, dozing off, short lived snoozing, and power naps. Every one of these from breakfast to initiatory degree sessions were taken advantage of. Bigfoot testifies to sleeping for somewhere around half an hour over the four day weekend.

Pizza came home, went into the oven, and within one hour of eating, Bigfoot crawled into bed. Never to be seen again that night, the child, who fights off sleep on a regular basis, willingly shut his eyes. He may wake up tomorrow. then again, maybe not.

Peace and Quiet, I Think

I haven't gotten a phone call yet. If I were to receive a phone call from Bigfoot, he would come home to the Apocalypse of groundings. Why? Because he would be done in for the last time.

In translation:

Bigfoot is off at Washington DeMolay Convention this weekend. He is spending four days with almost 1000 teenage boys from around Washington State. Events for this weekend range from official business and election of state officers to spending all night with XBoxes and Wiis. This is a hyperactivity breeding ground. Allowing almost 1000 boys to concoct mischief and mayhem in a hotel can be dangerous business. I stayed home, where there is safety and protection from the wild animals.

There are certain things I expect out of this.

1. I do expect him to stay up all night all weekend.
2. I do expect him to sleep all the way home from being crazy enough to stay up all night all weekend long.
3. I fully expect him to run laps around the hotel should he be caught with an energy drink in hand. I have made it known to his adviser dad that running off unnecessary sugar and caffeine from energy drinks will not take long. Bigfoot is a fast runner.
4. I half expect him to come home a better person with higher moral values. I only half expect this simply due to the fact that I can never know what to expect from Bigfoot.
5. Most importantly, I expect him to have an excellent time being a twelve year old boy running a muck along side almost 1000 other teenage boys.

Beadgirl is reveling in this joyful four days without her big brother. On the flip side, life without a big brother for a few days has generated requirement of the room cleaning to end all room cleaning. Never again, according to her mom and dad, shall her room ever become this big of a chore. If it shall become the tremendous chore she has made it, all fun activities shall become forfeit and her parents will engage in the privilege of cleaning for her. Engagement of this parental right may involve, but is not limited to the removal of toys, beads, and other nonessential wants.

She has had her fun. Her aunt took her out to a park for disc golf yesterday. I'm not sure what we'll do tomorrow, but we'll make sure to have some good quality time.

As for me and my Bigboy, we have four days of peace and quiet. There is no fighting amongst siblings. There is none of the usual only half of our regular dose of whining from the mouths of children. Ah, the relaxation of having a child out of the house for the weekend.

There might be peace and quiet for a while. So long as I'm not blaring TobyMac on the stereo.