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Monday, January 28, 2008

The Internal Composition of Lima Beans

As given to me by twelve year old Bigfoot:

Cat gut
Dog eyes
Martian brains
Sour milk
Nuclear waste
Pills forcing kids to want to take drugs
Toxic waste
Coal
Sugar and Caffeine

After hearing that last ingredient, I asked him "If Lima beans contain sugar and caffeine, then kids should naturally want them, right?"

"That would make Lima beans junk food. Mom's aren't supposed to deliberately feed their kids junk food. We're not supposed to eat junk food for dinner, so therefore you aren't supposed to make us eat Lima beans"

"What makes you think Lima beans contain nuclear waste?"

"They're green. Nuclear waste is green like Lima beans. You can't make me eat nuclear waste."

At that point, I was getting a little worn out of listening to Bigfoot's Top 10 Reasons Kids Should Not Be Made to Eat Lima Beans.

"If I have to hear about this anymore before dinner, there will be a double helping of Lima beans on your plate tonight."

"NO mom, don't make me do that. Don't make me eat cat gut!"

"Then I suggest you be quiet."

He ended up getting an extra serving that night of our green friends. I'm so proud of him. He ate every bite. Fortunately for my ears and his taste buds, his Lima bean servings ended after two days.

"What did you learn from all this?"

"Not to let the sofa bribe me into feeding it my Lima beans, even if it pays me. Sofas like them you know. They just take more time to chew than people do"

"What else did you learn?"

"You should not go looking for your crochet hook again."

Not look for my crochet hook? Yeah RIGHT!

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