The Parody of My Resume

In writing a resume, there are certain things you want the employer to see, and things you want to say. In the case of resume writing, blunt honesty is not always the best policy.

I start my resume with a professional profile:

Energetic, adaptable, and motivated future employee with over 10 years experience in providing a consistently excellent customer service experience by maintaining a goal of 100% satisfaction while upholding a high level of professionalism, courtesy, and respect for confidentiality.

What I would like to say on the Saturday Night Live Version:

I'm a hyperactive mother of two hyperactive teenagers who thinks about playing well with others and does run with scissors when attempting to handle lazy people. For the past twenty years, I have been biting the heads off of lazy annoying people and spitting them back out through my rear end. I still kiss up to your customers while your employees will fear me.

In reality, I'm not cruel to people, or co-workers. I am energetic, and do get bored easily when there is no challenge in front of me. I have several times held back from telling potential employers TeleTech wasn't a good match because I don't sit still very well.

Sometimes I flat out get tired of writing and customizing my resume for employers. I'd like to write something into it that says something like this:

Just HIRE ME! Quit asking me questions about my behavior in the workplace and just hire me. If you read my resume, you see the skills and the behavior. In the end, I will make you a ton of money and your customers will think the earth can't turn without you.

Actually, I am tired of being unemployed. I spend more time on facebook than its worth just because I have nothing to do that earns money. So I figure

Just Hire Me and let me make you a ton of money!

Things I want to Say

I want to talk about lots of things. I want to vent about my unemployment. I want to vent about being frustrated with government. I want Obama to face America and answer the questions. I want to know the real answers as to why gas prices are so high. I want to know why my computer is slow. I want to know why I have to chat with a guy in India when I ask for help from HP. I want to know what I do wrong in interviews to the point I can't land a job. I want to pay my rent. I want have a job. I want to know why people can just hurt other people. I want to know why Beadgirl is in love with NCIS. I want to know why I haven't finished a post in over a year. I want to get back into my blog. I've got ideas in my head, but nothing seems worthy of messing with. Is that my lack of self confidence? I want to know why my mom thinks I'm a waste of time. I want to know why the only hits to this page on the past year have been over searching for a former contract employer. I want to know why someone looked at my page from Boise, ID.

You have no idea how hard it is to stay busy when there is no job. You have no idea how hard it is to keep confident when there are interviews, but plenty of rejections. Its even harder when there feels like no encouragement around except myself.

My Very Own Loren Ipsum

Do not read this. It says nothing. This is my test of how Windows Live Writer looks. I have no intention of saying anything useful today.

So, Loren Ipsum to you!

In the Meantime, the Library Will Have To Do

I have nothing against the concept of the public library. The ability to check out and read books on just about anythign I can imagine is wonderful. The selection available, yes even here in Kitsap County, is really quite substantial. The library many times saved us during our homeschooing years. I loved brining the kids to the library for time away from home. They did quite a lot of research in the library.

On the other hand, there are some things the library provides I feel soemtimes I am much better off without. Some of the services provided end up feeling quite cheap. Of course, I would be typing this into blogger on Internet Explorer ( FireFox rules!) on the computer with the sticky keys. And when some oen logs onto the internet in here, everythign slows down, and many times freezes. On several occassions I have ended up loosing almost 10 minutes of time out of my one hour time limit.

My solution will be a little slow right now. I'm hoping all of my 1099's come in the mail this week. The soone rI get them, the sooner they get delivered to the accountant. The sooner I can deliver them to the accountant, the sooner my taxes get filed. The sooner the taxes get filed, the sooner I get my refund. The first thing I do with my refund, buy a new laptop.  YEAH!

The Process

... for the Washington Department of Health to produce a wonderful piece of paper known as a Pharmacy Technician license. In the mean time, I am biding my time anxiously patiently. I'm pretty sure everyone knows just how ADHD calm I can be while waiting. Thanks to the Washington State Department of Health, along with the licensing needs of pharmacies all around Puget Sound, I am UNABLE to work in the community I have so graciously paid $14,000 to enter.

A few weeks ago, I called the department of health with questions. I did get some answers. Some of it made sense. I learned...

the DOH receives applications with payments every day
there are 1000's of these applications pouring in from all aspects of health care every day
upon receiving an application package, the DOH separates the payment from the application.
the application is then filed away in line with all the other applications waiting for processing
I was told there was a two to four week wait for application processing
applications are currently waiting a period of five weeks

After all that waiting, THEN the processing begins with

data entry
a dark past background check
I hope there is a second dark past background check thanks to all the time we spend waiting for these pieces of paper
the waiting pointlessly processing check
the reality legality check
the final data entry
the printing of the paper
the mailing of the paper

I guess I don't think like normal people. i tend to have a very hard time accepting lame excuses when it comes to just about anything. You can give me a lame excuse. That part is fine. How I tend to respect anything about you or anything you do after the lame excuse is given is for you to deal with. I pretty much wrote you off as annoying and lazy.

Honestly, why it takes the DOH that long to do anything is plainly BEYOND me. I have spent the past several weeks trying to figure out how that state agency can even live with itself knowing there are thousands of people all over the state being denied the ability to have a decent job in health care; all because of the DOH lag time. I'm not sure if that office is pro-customer service, or pro-cash waster. Seriously, if the load is so heavy for the DOH that it just can't handle it, HIRE MORE PEOLPE. After all, I need a job. Obviously that office has a need for staff. I see a win-win situation there.

I may see my license come to me sometime in January. So far, I have been denied several interviews because I don't carry the proper license. That just isn't cool with me at all. Of course, by the time I get my first Technician license, it will be time to send off for the renewal.

Well, I may SOMEDAY be able to get a decent job in a pharmacy, and maybe even be able to re-enter college for the Pharm, D. program at the UW.  I guess I can always dream on.

My Extership Rocked. (and Now I Wait for My License)

I have never had, in my entire life, a better 160 hours than I did in my time at Peninsula Community Health Services. In 160 hours of free working time, I discovered:

just how much I really love being in the pharmacy
my first real experience in pharmacy work
PDX is a software program of its very own uniqueness
PDX is quite maneuverable once you figure it out
the desire to beat PDX sometimes comes quite often
different pharmacists function with different work habits, but still get everything done
brand new sharpie markers do not leave the desired dark X on bottles
older, blunter sharpies leave a beautiful, dark, bold X on the bottle
some patients can really try a person's patience
keeping your patience with patients who are trying your patience causes said patients to leave a pharmacy counter with a very open jaw
how blessed I am to have worked with former pharmacy tech instructors
how blessed I am  to have worked with the pharmacists that I did
160 hours of full-time volunteer work comes as fast as it goes

To the Pharmacy of Peninsula Community Health Services:

Thank You for the best 160 hours I have ever spent working on a volunteer basis. I have now worked with the greatest people I could ever have been with. Thank you for the support and encouragement.

It's Over, (And Now I Need a Job)

So the last post I wrote was at the start of my last 20 hours in class. Well, I have to admit that 20 hours was over only a month ago. In those last 20 hours, I took something like 10 tests, including the glorious lab final, intended to give a presentation on Congenital Indifference to Pain, and put in my fair share of time studying for the PTCB.

Much to my reassurance, I did not throw IV syringes as if they were darts in the hood. I was looking forward to the dual mix syringe work in the final. The assignment: pull 3ml practi-powder solution into the syringe. Then add 7ml sterile water into said syringe without backwashing the yellow solution into the bottle of sterile water. All while simulating working in a vertical flow hood.

Prevention of shadowing in a vertical hood isn't as easy as it sounds. Sure, everything is held so the airflow of the hood hits the top of the syringe, and vial, and everything else in the hood. Holding all that stuff so the air actually can hit the top of the syringe, vial, and everything else isn't so easy. For the most part, proper vertical technique looks something like what my dear friend, and model for this photo, Shevy, is doing here.

Of course, the ONLY Power Point I out together during the entire 9 months, not related to any of the assignments in the CORE module, was finished, but never shown. To make that situation even more annoying, the flash drive with the project on it disappeared. For Your Information, presenting Congenital Indifference to Pain with nothing more than the internet as a research option and NO cash available to purchase medical journals is nothing close to easy. Some of my best information, pictures included, was in the form of TV articles I found on YouTube. Basically, after I spent the many hours pouring through google searches, videos, and maveuring through Power Point 2007, all I had to turn in was the outline.

I managed to pull through the last three of the generics tests with decent scores. Thank you to my good friend, Shevy (yes, the model of vertical flow) I somehow managed to cram master 20 generic drugs relating to diabetes, put in some PTCB practice tests, and manage to pull off a test on human hormones.


Somehow, I still managed all A's in the final module.  WOW.