Patches? Who Said Anything About Patches?

I can't figure out why a Boy Scout uniform would need patches. Especially when the uniform has to be worn for seven days at summer camp. Oh please. The shirt doesn't need patches. How can the shirt need patches. It's not the last minute yet.

The conversation I needed to have yesterday:

"Mom," from the vocal cords of Bigfoot, "I YOU need to put patches on my shirt so I can take it to camp."

Everything comes out of Bigfoot's mouth as YOU instead of I. HE needs to do nothing. YOU, meaning I-the mom, need to do everything. I will eventually break him of this habit. Just like I will learn to type without stupid mistakes or the backspace button.

"Which numbers does it need?" I'm thinking it is the shirt that has repeatedly gone home with another Boy Scout, is full of Steam-A-Seam spots, and has come home twice with missing numbers. This is not the shirt Bigfoot has in his mind.

"All of them."

"What?"

"Yeah mom, ALL OF THEM."

"Where is your shirt with the patches?"

"I don't know. I need patches on the blank shirt so I can go to camp."

If I had this conversation yesterday, new patches could have been purchased and the larger shirt would have been properly assembled.

The troop leaves for camp tomorrow. Through today's course of events, lessons have been learned. I learned the Scout Shop is closed on Saturdays in July and August. Patches are not available in a single thrift store in this condemn blessed county. Shirts are no longer available in the thrift stores. Boy Scouts is not dead, just not showing up in thrift stores. Red numbers aren't showing up in stores either. That Weird Woman was told at one thrift store that scout patches are actually being thrown out when shirts do come in. Not cool. Bigfoot has his first lesson in sewing today. He has learned how to use a seam ripper, needle, thread and threader.

He may take all night, but the shirt will get done. The Mom-Fairy may show up and finish it tonight.