Green Tissue Paper, That's All I Ask For

Did you know you cannot find true green tissue paper five days away from St. Patrick's Day? Why, you ask. do I need plain true green tissue paper five days before St. Patrick's Day?

Well, the answer has to do with the fact that I'm just a bit crazy. I sucker myself assist Bigboy's blue lodge with event decorations. There are anywhere from five to eight events I decorate each year. This year, there are more like ten (counting from January to December). Of those ten, two have been dropped from my plate this year. That is for another story. I covered that story yesterday. One of these events is a Shamrock Dinner, this Saturday.

For this dinner of Irish celebration, I am planning on stuffing miniature Irish flags into flower boxes Bigboy made last year, along with some curling ribbon and little black pots. There will be quite adorable by the time I'm done. If I can find the green tissue paper. I honestly thought the orange paper would be the most difficult. Boy, was I wrong there. I found that on my second stop. But green?

I can find bright-neon green, "candy apple" green, and "so-dark-its-almost-black" green. I can find green with shamrocks, green with rainbow colored polka-dots, green with who-knows-what-kind-of-design-that-is, but plain true green? HA!

I drove all over Port Orchard last night looking for that darned green tissue paper. this is not exactly an easy trip. Port Orchard is one of those everything-suburban-sprawling-everywhere towns. Albertson's is in one part of town. Wal-Mart is a mile away. Over a full mile from that is Fred Meyer. Somewhere in between in Jo-Ann's, Dollar Tree, and Safeway. There are no seriously dedicated shopping centers. Everything sprawls away from everything in such a way that you cannot simply park you car in one place and walk to everything. What public transportation we do have doesn't support anything being done efficiently by bus. I am a firm believer that Port Orchard is a poster-child town of big-box retail and the exploitation by big oil.

So, back to my story. I'm looking everywhere for this green tissue paper. None of the elusive paper existing in Port Orchard means only one thing: a trip to Silverdale. Silverdale is twenty minutes from my house. Gas is currently $3.50 a gallon right now in Kitsap County. I do not, under any condition go into Silverdale unless I am desperate for something that can only be found there. Even if I am desperate for green tissue paper, I am willing to avoid driving into Silverdale. I am now to the point of finding an alternative to the green tissue paper.

Find an alternative, I did. Fabric. Fabric and I are friends. I have orange fabric. I have green fabric. I picked up white fabric today. I can fashion my little Irish flags out of fabric. Ah, peace has come.